Thursday, May 2, 2013

Spending my life in the bathroom

URGENCY, wake up out of a dead sleep, run to the bathroom, sit on the toilet for half an hour while nothing happens. Legs go numb, stand up, wash hands, URGENCY, sit back down, repeat.

Go down to eat breakfast, put bagel in toaster, URGENCY, try to hold it off til after breakfast, eat breakfast, go upstairs, sit on toilet for half an hour, poop one pebble, horrible cramps while everything readjusts.

Get finished getting ready to go to work, URGENCY, sit down on toilet, nothing-you're late for work now.

Get home from work, have a fairly quiet evening, get tired enough to go peacefully to bed, URGENCY, sit on toilet until you're sure you'll never walk again in hopes that you won't repeat this morning, nothing.

Go to sleep, URGENCY, wake up, repeat...over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...until you give up.


  1. Hi! I just wanted to tell you that I am so happy that you are updating your blog again! It's nice to know that I am not alone with my ibs-problems! Please continue writing! /Hanna from Sweden

  2. Girl, I know that feeling. Can you tell us if you are on any IBS diet? FODMAPs? I follow Heather Van Vorous Eating For IBS diet when times are tough. Sadly, I think I need to go back to it, at least some of it.

  3. Hello.

    I certainly know that cycle, and the stress and anxiety it brings with it. I used to have a map of my home town and all it's bogs (toilets) in my head. I knew exactly how many seconds away from a loo I was at all times.

    I had Ulcerative Colitis, and in the end I lost my gut to the surgeon.

    Blog-On. It's important. Because if we don't speak about it it becomes unmentionable.

    I applaud you for speaking out.

  4. I have suffered from Anxiety, GI problems, and Depression. I found a product that finally worked for me. No chemicals, no enhancements, all natural remedy in forms of pills, shakes and bars.... I want to expose as many people as i can to this product in hope that it helps someone as much as it helps me

    Here is the site:

  5. I just found your blog and boy do i understand. I was reading your symptoms and consider myself very lucky. I was diagnosed IBS a year ago, though im pretty sure ive had it longer than that (atleast as C, now it's D) but my bouts come and go. Right now im in the middle of a 2 week bout (lovely) but sometimes i can go weeks without. A typical month might see 4-5 cases of a flare up but thats it. And i thought i had it bad! you are so strong! I admire you and admire your willingness to talk about it. I'll be following!

  6. Your story sounds a lot like mine and I can relate to most of this. I have just published my IBS story on my blog: