Have you ever noticed that when your IBS limitations come up around some people, they almost seem to be offended?
"What do you mean you can't eat that? It's a salad! Salad is healthy!"
"Hey, I'm gonna go grab something to eat; want anything? Oh, wait, of course you don't. You don't ever want anything."
"Next time you take a drink I'm taking a picture because I don't think I've ever seen you eat or drink anything."
"No wonder you're so skinny. You don't ever eat anything." :DEATH GLARE DEATH GLARE DEATH GLARE:
"Are you sure you can't eat that? You could just try a little; I'm sure it wouldn't hurt."
"Well I want to go to ____ for dinner, but is there even anything you can eat there?" (in an annoyed voice)
"My stomach gets upset after I eat sometimes, and it doesn't ruin my life."
"I don't get why you talk about your problems to all those people you don't even know. Aren't you embarrassed?"
"Hey, I'm gonna go grab something to eat; want anything? Oh, wait, of course you don't. You don't ever want anything."
"Next time you take a drink I'm taking a picture because I don't think I've ever seen you eat or drink anything."
"No wonder you're so skinny. You don't ever eat anything." :DEATH GLARE DEATH GLARE DEATH GLARE:
"Are you sure you can't eat that? You could just try a little; I'm sure it wouldn't hurt."
"Well I want to go to ____ for dinner, but is there even anything you can eat there?" (in an annoyed voice)
"My stomach gets upset after I eat sometimes, and it doesn't ruin my life."
"I don't get why you talk about your problems to all those people you don't even know. Aren't you embarrassed?"
I'm so sorry I forgot to think of your feelings when I was trying to take care of my body and increase my quality of life! This is like an every day thing for me. I really hope you guys get off a little more easily than me and have more understanding people in your lives.
Do people ever say things like this to you? How do you respond? Also I really appreciate all of the email love I've been getting recently!! Feel free to post in the comments too and start a conversation with my other readers. You guys are great, and I'd love to get some conversation going amongst all of you!
I often feel bad for my husband because the state of my stomach is a daily conversation in our household. While he loves me and supports me no matter what I hate sounding like a broken record. Believe me, I wish I didn't have to talk about it all the time!
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for my fiance too! He says that he doesn't care that my limitations turn into our limitations, but he's a very adventurous guy, foodwise. I'm sure that it probably annoys him sometimes, but with him I completely understand. Good thing he likes cooking at home and doesn't mind fixing a separate meal for me.
DeleteOMG yes! I totally revamped my eating habits recently which have totally helped my IBS and because I also lost a bit of weight my sister proceeded to ask "so what are you eating? nothing" no I eat lots of things but yes there are lots of things I can't eat and it has taken me nearly a year to work out what they are.
ReplyDeleteI am taking responsibility for myself and my health and that feels pretty good : )
Oh but my friends are so supportive always asking me where I can eat and working round that instead of the other way round which helps make me feel more "normal".
I found that my friends have been more supportive than my family, especially in the beginning. My family was very blunt about it too, and went as far as accusing me several times of being anorexic. All I wanted was a little support while I tried to take care of myself, but they love to downplay how much work goes into keeping myself healthy with what little I can eat while not ruining my stomach. To them, I was just starving myself, not avoiding my trigger foods and eating my safe foods later once I had access to them. My friends are just like yours- it's good to have people like that around you, huh?
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People don't understand what is going inside you. They always judge you from outside. They think that a person seems fine by just looking at him is alright. Last year i met few old friends at a Cafe. They had one bloody toilet and it ran out of water. Once i knew it and u know things changed the very instant. The urge increased, my heartrate shot up, i started sweating and i didnt knew what my friend were talking about. Upon seeing this they started making fun of me. At times i really feel, Y me. Then there are people suffering from worse conditions than me. I can eat anything. It doesnt make any difference but the moment i know that i dont have an access to toilet, then i dont know y things dont remain normal. My wife is very supportive. I couldnt go with my son for outing like other fathers do but i try to compensate it by giving him quality time with me. My whole professional career has been ruined by this condition. ohhhh God...I m sorry for writing things not related to ur article but its just feels gud to share ur feelings with someone who knows how it feels.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is exactly how people perceive me, especially at work. The sad thing is that people do not realize that it makes a person feel self conscious. It also does not help that I am thin. My diet is very limited and I have tried a million diets and seen a variety of doctors. I have come to the realization that I need to take it upon myself to do the research to find something that works. I tried the LOW FODMAP diet and the low carb diet. They have given me some relief, but they didn't work for me completely. I have read about SIBO, but the antibiotics given to help a selected group have worked in the short term. I have always noticed something was not right with my digestive system when I was in elementary school. My IBS became more noticeable in Junior High, but I was not diagnosed until 10th grade. I have had IBS-C for about 23 years and I would not wish it on anyone. Thank you for sharing your blog with us! =0)
ReplyDeleteI've just stumbled upon your wonderful blog. Thank you for having this. It's such a great resource and means of support. I am currently going through one of my worst episodes. My stomach has been like this since I was little, just like you. I've seen so many doctors and had so many tests done and sometimes I feel like it is never ending.
ReplyDeleteMy weight has fluctuated so much over my life. Currently, I am weighing in at 200, which is the heaviest I have ever been.. About two years ago I weighed about 120 pounds, but starting fainting and was diagnosed with dysautonomia. (YAY!~*) Over the last two years I would have "mini" episodes but nothing too terrible so I was eating just about anything and dealing with the consequences: horrible gas, abdominal pain and needing to get out of bed 2 hours earlier to have enough time to empty my bowels before work.
This all seemed to be going pretty well until last week I landed in the hospital with chronic pain, bloating, and just this horrible heavy feeling up under my ribs.
I prayed that it was my gallbladder and they would take it out and it would be the end of my problems.
Nope. They sent me home with a diagnosis of gastritis and IBS - and prescriptions for bentyl, zantac, and zofran for nausea. It's so hard for me to take a slap in the face like that after praying so hard that it would be something fixable, I'm sure you understand.
The doctor gave me direction to seek an appointment immediately with a GI that's affiliated with the hospital I went to... However, the nurse or receptionist I spoke to told me they would not give me an appointment as my condition was not severe enough.
Like really? I think that being unable to eat anything solid, spending an hour in the bathroom more than 3 times a day, having uncontrollable pain, and embarrassing gas constitutes as severe.
It's so hard to be taken seriously... What's worse, is having gained this weight the immediate response of anyone (including my primary doctor) - "Well, you don't look sick." "You certainly seem to be holding your weight well."
Geesh. After this spell though, I don't think I will keep weight on... and maybe everyone will take me a little bit more serious. :/
Sorry for the REALLY long reply. Just a lot of feels, man! lol. Thanks again for your blog. It's great :)
I know exactly the feeling. My family tries really hard, but it's frustrating when meat is one of my triggers and I send my mom recipes all the time, but when I go home on the weekend it's all meat because "I just don't know how to cook for you anymore!" It's so hard to deal with. I also love getting the "What do you mean you're flaring up today? You were doing so well yesterday! What did you do wrong?" Like, all of a sudden, blame out of nowhere! Ugh.
ReplyDeleteBasically I empathize and if you ever find a good way to respond to this kind of stuff, keep me posted!
I'm really enjoying reading through your blog. Thanks for being honest! This post is excellent, I get these comments all the time!!! I hope you don't mind, but I have included a link to your blog on my own. Let me know if this is an issue!
ReplyDeleteSara