How embarrassing. The other week, my husband (yes, we're married
now...and have been for over a year) mentioned that he couldn't believe I
hadn't posted on here since August of 2014. I had no idea it had been
that long!! It was somewhat of a planned hiatus, though, I just didn't
mean for it to go on this long.
See, I had been
feeling guilty each time I posted here. My daily half Imodium had me
feeling so good and regular I felt like I couldn't say I had IBS
anymore. And, because of that, I felt like a fake when I'd blog. Well,
good news- I stopped my Imodium and definitely feel like I have the
right to post again! 😩 I decided to stop it because A) there are no
long-term studies to tell me whether it's safe or not, B) we are considering
perhaps maybe possibly having kids and it's a pregnancy category C
drug, C) my neck has been doing this weird stiff thing lately and
occasionally twitches and D) I was hoping I didn't have IBS symptoms
anymore.
I took my last tablet 30 days ago, and the
loose stools came back immediately. I didn't even get a day to think,
"Hmm maybe I'm going to stay normal!" And, let me tell ya, it is REALLY
hard to hold myself back from going to get an Imodium when I have a
particularly bad stool or when I'm about to go out/to work and I feel
like I need to run back to the bathroom but can't. I've become so
dependent on that stupid half tablet that I have no idea how I made it
to the 30 day mark. Especially with the type 7 stools (Bristol stool
scale) I was having day after day after day the first week or two.
However,
I'm not back up to the 10+ stools a day that used to be my norm. Thank
god for that. I'm still only having one stool a day, although it is
definitely loose and unpleasant. But the good thing is I'm not watching
what I'm eating. Wait- that's a complete lie- I'm 100% positive I will
watch what I eat for the rest of my life after the hell I've been
through. What I meant to say is that I'm still having some fun foods.
Like I can still eat (a slice or two) of pizza (with the grease dabbed
off), the occasional cheese stick, and nuts (as long as I chew them
well), among other tasty things without really paying for it. I do still
get urgency after most meals, but I can usually wait it out. I feel
like superwoman when I make it through that burning urge to sprint to
the bathroom. I've decided I will not take Imodium again until I start
to feel like I can't leave the house without getting nervous. I refuse
to go back to that life. I'm still recovering from it socially and
emotionally.
You're probably wondering how I went from
10+ stools a day pre-Imodium to only 1 stool a day post-Imodium, right?
I sort of am too. But here's what I'm doing now: 1) fiber, 2) proper
toileting techniques, and 3) exercise, yoga, and meditation.
For
breakfast, I eat a bowl of Cheerios with a spoonful of wheat bran buds
in it. Then I have a spoonful of applesauce. My doctor suggested these
additions of fiber and also wanted me to drink a little prune juice as
well, but I could not tolerate the taste. I was afraid of fiber in the
past because I had tried it in the beginning and did not have a good
experience with it. But this time it seems to be helping keep me
regular. Hopefully, I can make some tweaks and it can help me have more
formed stools.
As far as proper toileting techniques, I'm
"forcing" myself to go every morning after I eat breakfast. In the
past, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. I was spending 30+ minutes
in the bathroom every single time I'd go, and often times running right
back in a second time if I didn't feel like I'd emptied completely. I'd
have to get up painfully early just to give myself enough time to go to
the bathroom. I'm down to 5 minutes, and I only give myself one try. Did
you know there is a specific position you're supposed to poop in? I
sure as hell didn't. Again, my doctor let me in on this secret. You're
supposed to raise up your heels off the floor and lean slightly forward.
Then you're supposed to do deep belly breaths to get going. Even though
I have diarrhea-predominant IBS, I have always found it hard to go. I
don't struggle to go now that I know how to go. As soon as I assume the
position and start the belly breaths, boom- I'm going. I continue with
the belly breaths until I feel like I've emptied enough and I'm good to
go for the day. I do have some urgency throughout the day, especially
after lunch, but I just push through it using the techniques I've
learned now that I'm trying yoga/meditation out.
In
addition to the weight training and elliptical running I'm doing, I also
added yoga and meditation into my routine. I try to do the meditation
every night before bed and a time or two during work. I find that I'm
super tense all.the.time. I'll come home from work, go into the bathroom
to wash my hands, look in the mirror and see how high my shoulders are.
I lower them literally 3 inches when I force myself to relax. I'm just
naturally wound super tight, which means I can get pretty worked up when
I start to feel the urgent need to run to the bathroom. If this happens
at work, I close my eyes and go to my happy place while taking deep
belly breaths. If you've been reading my blog very long, you probably
know (but have maybe forgotten since I've been MIA) that I'm a pretty
bad germaphobe. Not wanting to use public bathrooms is also a huge
motivator, but I often find that after that brief moment of meditation I
don't feel the need to go anymore. A side note: I tried this in the
past as a relaxation technique and found it hardly ever worked for me. I
understand why now- meditation is pretty difficult and takes a lot of
practice. If it doesn't work for you right away, don't give up. Make it a
habit and keep working at it. I took me a good two weeks before I could
do it well. If you need a hand to hold like I did in the beginning, try
the "Stop, Breathe & Think" app. It rocks.
Ok, I
don't wanna pull something by going too hard now that I'm trying to make
a come back, so I'll stop here. I'm happy people are still finding my
(very old) posts day after day and hope they're finding them helpful,
but I will try to start posting regularly again. Hopefully there are
still some of you out there reading this regularly that can help me
stick to this goal because I really miss blogging!
