Friday, March 26, 2010

Update...and a taste of my future

Carrots are a no go. They didn't quite make me sick like my trigger foods would, but still...a no go. I'll leave it at that.

Today in class, I had a moment. I guess I should start from the beginning...I got to class and sat down. I was talking to my friend then she says, "Where were you? I tried calling you." I knew she wasn't talking to me, so I looked up. Her friend had just gotten to class and had apparently been at our Health Center. She had been studying earlier and felt sick, so she went to get something for it. While she was there, apparently she threw up. So now I have a person standing right in front of my desk that just threw up.

What do you think I did? My insides were screaming, "RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!" but I had to sit there. I had absolutely no good reason to leave, as our test was about to start. So I just sat there. I can't tell you how nervous it made me (and still makes me right now). But anyway, getting to my moment...a little bit later I was sitting with my group working on an assignment for our next class. I was paying attention to how I felt since I was worrying about getting whatever made this girl throw up, and I realized...wait for it...I felt GOOD. For the first time in who knows how long, I could talk with other people without getting a dull pain in my stomach. I didn't feel worn out or the least bit nauseous. I didn't have any gas or even any gurgling in my stomach. There was no headache or even the inkling of one. I was hungry. And I wasn't even having any cramps.

In that moment, I almost closed my eyes just to take advantage of it. To try to freeze it in time. If I could have sat there in that seat, feeling like that, for the rest of my life I might have just done that. Obviously, it didn't last for very long and I'm feeling a little cruddy after dinner. But still...I'm so grateful for that hour or two that I got today. It allowed me to flash back to how my life was before I had to start dealing with all of this nonsense. It also made me a bit sad because of how good that felt compared to how I feel day to day, but I'm not going to focus on that. I'm going to focus on getting back to having that feeling all day every day. I WILL GET BACK THERE. I just have to. It felt too good :)

1 comment:

  1. That is beautiful. I am learning to cherish those moments also! I also think it is interesting that majority of people that suffer from IBS also have anxiety and Emetaphobia. It's interesting! I love your blog and I am reading it from the beginning. You are amazing!